As I’m writing these lines…I am preparing to go out in the mid July heat and meet a couple of my friends. What will this day bring to me, to my heart, to my connectivity? Let’s all remember these 2 words heart and connectivity as keys to this midsummer experience. As I listen to my friends every time we meet, I feel our bond deepening. The strength strengthening. Despite different life visions or needs, there is a certain feminine energy of containment that leads our togetherness.
We’ve just entered another Mercury retrograde (astronomy correct: aparent rx motion), this time in Leo, the sign and archetype of joy, of the heart, the inner child and courage to live authentically. Matters of the heart, the ego, the joy and abundance will travel between worlds, people, frequency. Mercury is the principle of communication and free circulation, in Old Greece he was the only God grated the right to travel between realms.
For the next 3-4 weeks, we’ll feel it more than we’ll think it.
This is a perfect state of mind and of the heart timeline if you want to align with the higher purpose and joys in life.
This Mercury RX in Leo transit is just directing this introspective energy towards the heart space, from which the best stories, ideas, revelations are written and lived.
The heart frequency is to rule them all frequency
I’ve been studying frequencies and frequency medicine for a while now. As a frequent patient in reiki, acupuncture and using Healy daily, the reality of frequencies is no longer something I doubt about. Be it a scientific wearable or working with a therapist, my body is always maintained first by energy work and healing. Even in astrology, I always say this ancient symbolic science is not about predictions, but about aligning to frequencies.
According to Dr. David Hawkins, the frequency of the heart (love) is calibrated at 500 on his scale of consciousness. In Hawkins’ map, which ranges from 0 (shame) to 1000 (enlightenment), the level of 500 (Love) represents a major turning point, that state of unconditional acceptance, compassion, and forgiveness. One individual vibrating at 500 can positively influence many others, counterbalancing negative frequencies in the world. The buddhists know it, the Christians know it, the vedics say it. And the science says it as well now that we’ve developed all sorts of tools to measure our cuantic field and imbalances.
Why it this heart thing even a thing for us today and how does it relate to women friendships? And how is this connected to Mercury in Leo going retrograde opening our hearts to the inner healing? Because this transit, as all transits are, is not alone. Mercury in Leo retrograde will dance hand in hand or heart to heart with his anima principle, Venus in Gemini. For me this was definitely a call to write about this sensitive, but also rich topic of female friendships as cure for a lot of life’s imbalances.
Isn’t this a beautiful metaphor for how women gather in round shapes as their energy flows between them, rebalancing any pain or suffering of the ego?
In all true honesty, I’ve hurt women, I think. And I’ve been hurt by women as well. I have lied, deserted, punched them with words, belittled them in work and personal spaces. I denied them of the freedom to be perfectly imperfect. I corrected them. I felt their weaknesses and manipulated into my own achievements. But I was also betrayed. Lied to. Hurt. Manipulated. Abandoned. Disrespected. Treated like a disposable soul.
What goes around comes around just like in any feminine fluid form. Doesn’t it?
But I was also healed by women. Protected by women. Loved by women when I could only hate myself. Hired by women. Given trust by women. And now, read by women (thank you for doing it).
Now, I can definitely say this when I look in the mirror: I am not a good person. I choose to be a good person. Everyday, with every action, word, understanding, I choose light over dark, not hiding the dark, but making it a vessel for the inner light to support others. And this is an intentional power that nothing and nobody will take away from me. Ever. From you as well.
Because yes, women are healing. Their presence is healing. And their energy is currently under major healing mode.
I’ve experienced a plethora of states and choices. I can detect now the hurting people hurting people and the spaces that need healing more than they need upgrading.
And I must say, women friendships, communities, gatherings still need it the most. Healing of Gaia will only come from healing the women. We hold the intuitive powers, the energies of multi-worlds, the gift of the ultimate creation and the power to give meaning to men, creatures, actions, futures.
Future is Female is quite a false statement. It has always been us who were pulling the cords of life and love. And the responsibility, even though it might be hard sometimes to acknowledge it.
For much of our recorded history, the close bonds between women were overlooked or even disparaged by male thinkers. Classical philosophers like Aristotle and Cicero praised the virtues of male friendship while belittling female bonds. This dismissive attitude persisted for over two millennia (600 BCE – 1600 CE), essentially rendering women’s friendships historically invisible in literature and philosophy. Such views reflected the gender biases of their times, casting doubt on women’s capacity for profound friendship. Yet, women were in fact forming deep friendships even when society failed to record or value them. In medieval Europe, convents and religious communities provided one of the few sanctioned spaces for female camaraderie. Nuns living together in cloistered settings often formed intense spiritual and personal bonds. Religious sisterhoods modeled how women could forge close non-familial relationships, even in eras when women’s public roles were restricted. Their legacy hinted that female friendship could thrive given the opportunity.
By the 18th and 19th centuries, women’s friendships began to emerge more visibly, sometimes in surprisingly passionate forms. This era saw the rise of so-called “romantic friendships” between women – intense, emotionally charged relationships often conducted through heartfelt letters and confessions of love. Such friendships (for example, the bond between poet Emily Dickinson and her sister-in-law Susan Gilbert) were described in language as tender as romantic love, yet were generally accepted by society at the time.
Around the same period, the context of female friendship expanded through women’s clubs, suffrage circles, and reform movements. In the late 19th and early 20th centuries, women organising for social causes began to speak of “sisterhood”, the idea that all women should treat each other with the loyalty and affection of sisters, even if unrelated. Female friendship moved from the private letters and parlors into public life and political rhetoric. No longer entirely “invisible,” women’s friendships were becoming recognised as a force for social cohesion and even social change.
While the deep connection of “best friends forever” might seem universal, the expression of female friendship can vary widely across different societies and cultural contexts. In many non-Western cultures, women’s friendships have long been interwoven with community and kinship structures, sometimes in formalised ways. For instance, traditional Chinese culture gave rise to the concept of “laotong” (老同), which was essentially an arranged lifelong friendship between two young girls. Much like a marriage, a laotong match would be arranged by a matchmaker who paired two girls of similar age and background to be devoted friends for life, often even signing a contract to seal this bond. The girls in a laotong relationship (also called “old-sames”) would remain in contact and emotionally support each other from childhood, through their marriages, and into old age, often communicating through a secret script that women developed (nu shu) to write letters away from the eyes of men.
Now, friendship between women is widely recognised as a cornerstone of women’s emotional lives. Research and lived experience both indicate that women’s same-sex friendships often have a distinctive emotional intimacy. A woman friend is typically someone with whom one can speak openly, expecting empathy, understanding, and support.
By confiding all our insecurities in circles of women, we are granted this “gift of vulnerability,” as philosopher Alain de Botton observes.
This intense supportiveness may be one reason women typically hold their female friendships so dear. Survey data confirm some of these differences: women report that with friends they frequently discuss personal and family issues, as well as mental and physical health, far more often than men do.
This suggests that women integrate their friendships into their emotional coping strategies, using talk and empathy as tools to navigate life’s challenges.
Modern culture explicitly values female friendship in a way previous eras did not. Pop culture offers many positive images, from the loyal sisterhood in “Little Women” to contemporary “squad goals” among celebrity friend groups, which reinforce the idea that girlfriends are an essential source of strength. We also see acknowledgment that friendship is not second fiddle to romance but rather a profound relationship on its own.
Our lovers may come and go, but true friends often remain permanent residents in our hearts.
Our lives are defined by two great love stories: the quest for romantic love and the quest for love and acceptance from the world. Close friends are a key part of that second quest, they are the women who give us affection, esteem, and a sense of belonging.
But female friendship in modern times is not without its complexities and tribulations. The very closeness and high expectations for intimacy that characterise women’s friendships can occasionally lead to disappointments or conflict. Psychology research suggests women tend to have higher expectations of support and loyalty from friends than men do, which can make breaches of trust or drifting apart especially painful. We now openly discuss phenomena like “friendship breakups”, knowing that losing a best friend can hurt as much as a romantic breakup.
Modern studies in psychology, neuroscience, and public health have shed light on just how important female friendships are for well-being. A growing body of research suggests that strong social bonds can literally help women lead healthier, longer lives. A Harvard Nurses’ Health Study famously found that the more friends women have, the less likely they are to develop physical impairments with age, and that not having close friends can be as detrimental to health as smoking or obesity.
Biologically, part of the explanation lies in how women’s bodies and brains respond to friendship. A landmark UCLA study proposed that women under stress often don’t experience the classic “fight or flight” spike of adrenaline in isolation; instead, they release oxytocin, sometimes called the “bonding hormone,” which drives them to “tend-and-befriend”. Beyond stress reduction, friendship is associated with boosts in mood and even cognitive health.
Enjoyable time spent with friends triggers the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, which generate feelings of happiness and contentment. Reports also note that spending time with close friends produces a mood lift comparable to the effect of physical exercise in terms of endorphin release and increased feelings of well-being. Nothing new here, we are all social creatures.
Here are some prompts from a woman who’s done them all, the good, the bad and the in between in relations with friends women. Maybe they will help you guide your frequency better towards emotionally supportive and growth-bringing friendships.
- Everything good starts from the heart. The main chakra of the body. The main intelligence guiding the soul in the body. The main intuitive portal. We are designed to use our mind to discern, but it’s the heart that does the good discerning. If you can’t open your heart, how can others relate to the true you? Use this Mercury in Leo transit to swift your frequency to that solar space from which everything is good and possible.
- Then think and connect deeper with your intuitive side. Your feminine zest. Try to identify what you can offer as a friend to the women in your life. We need to understand that whatever we want or need starts with whatever we are and we offer. Frequency meets frequency. Try to do your self-assessment first, that way you will know what to also ask from the women connecting with you, what your values, your limits and your triggers are. Friendships are not easy, they are a ground of emotional work that if properly understood and activated can work as an accelerator of the soul growth.
- Imagine friendships as geometrical shapes. And choose the one suitable for you. It might be a triangle, or it might be a circle, a square or just a segment. It definitely depends on your emotional needs, but also on your energetic field and courage to expand. We might prefer one confidant at a time or a group of three or a community to feel seen and heard, understood and contained.
- Bring your true self to the table. Don’t lie. Tell your friends you’re going through something difficult. But also try to keep the intentional balance. Friends are not here to hold your trauma dumping. But to reflect your strength in times of turmoil and maybe to give you some hints or directions to explore further healing and letting go. I believe friendship circles are your place of hugging and holding, not of fury dumping.
- Be intentional daily. Write a short message to a woman or group of women that mean a lot. Don’t wait for that cup of coffee, sometimes it doesn’t come anymore. Life passes in a glimpse and no tomorrow is given or promised. Only today. Make time for your female friends. Nothing grows without intentional time spent on that subject, activity, bond.
- Online conversations will never be an equally efficient substitute to face to face interaction. Leaning too much on social media can increase feelings of isolation or superficiality in relationships. There is something magical happening when people meet spatially. The energetic fields intertwine and the intelligence of both people as well as their emotions are not only shared but reshaped.
- Understand that all relations are hard work. I’ve heard this phrase lately: “Oh, I only believe in friendships that work in flow and ease.” A delusional, self-serving way to say: whenever things go wrong (and they will), I will either desert this relation or not stand it anymore. There will be fights and misunderstandings because our inner children are still active, triggering wounds of early life. Communication and safety are then grounds from which triggers can be discussed, understood and reframed. But don’t forget to separate: what’s yours and what’s in the courtyard of your friends. Relations almost always mix things up.
- Your friends are the best, more efficient vessels of growth for your life. Attuning to a woman who is healthy and happy in her relation with her spouse can guide your single frequency to open up to paths of good, stable manly energy for you as well. And this exercise goes with anything else you want in your life. Understand that if you don’t have something, a person can lift your energy up to what you want by just being in your presence and connection. You just need to spot this and work consistently with it.
- Let go. Let her go. Let them go. When you feel betrayed, disrespected, unseen, just leave. It is no longer a place of healing, but of hurting. I always let go in silence these days. There is nothing that lasts. Nothing is permanent. And that’s the worst, but also the best thing we could experience. The everlasting flow of life and changes that make us grow and swim and fail and get back riding the wave of life.
Female friendship is medicine. Don’t forget to face each other more than standing side by side. And the small poisons of life will turn into elixir of growth and support.
What’s the best gift you could give a dear woman in your life? Self-knowledge.
A meeting with her own soul. Because when we truly know ourselves, we can also heal, release, find ourselves again, and move forward with fewer regrets and more clarity. VIA ANIMAE can be that gift, one that shifts a life, a direction, or even a sense of self. A gift whose value only grows with time.
You can gift a VIA ANIMAE consultation to a woman in need of guidance, someone going through a hard time, someone overwhelmed, or simply, to yourself.
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Until next week, #WomenAreHealing.